Veritas

When I was younger, I believed our world harnessed magic - stones that carried ancient wisdom and illuminated with the right touch, Tarot cards that predicted the future, and destiny that guided and attracted people to one another, and to their true purpose.

I read Shakespeare, Greek mythology, Tales of King Arthur, and Lewis Carroll believing that the old world was better than the new; that what we most desired was outside of our universe cascading through other galaxies.

I took caution when dealing with bad energies and wore an evil eye necklace around my neck. I practiced reading coffee grinds with my grandmother, who had learned it from my grandmother, who had learnt it from hers. My future was always the same, bright and prosperous: I would meet a handsome stranger, go on an adventure, and work in a building that reached the sky.

Every time.

As I waited for this fortune to come true, building up my life in my head, I forgot to live. Nothing came to me like a magical force, and I was let down. Years passed, and the future that was so ingrained in the coffee cups, numerous times, was false. I gave up on what I thought were delusions, and started working toward my life. I went on adventures, landed mediocre work in terrible offices - which eventually lead to bigger buildings and more fulfilling work - and I met many handsome strangers along the way. My journey was happening because I made it happen, and no outside force was helping.

Five years ago, I understood why I thought destiny failed me. Standing on the precipice of a life-changing move to the east coast once again, about to escape as I always did in search of a better life, I stopped in my tracks when I read The Alchemist. I realized that destiny was not going to create my life for me, but to help me along the way. To create the journey.

The images I saw in Tarot cards from that point on, opened up my subconscious to guide my true intentions. My dreams showed my true passions, and my choices directed my life. I didn’t have a healthy balance, and that’s when I felt let down... because I relied too heavily on my fate without claiming any responsibility for my own life. And so, I grew where I planted my roots and stopped running. In doing that, I also let myself dream again. To believe again. To imagine… again.

Now, I read those stories and bathe in their symbolism, their lessons, and their beauty. I burn sage to release bad energies that can exist in my house, I read the Tarot and coffee grinds to understand the beauty in my thoughts and I listen to my own feelings and follow through the path that destiny walks with me. Not for me.

It was the balance that I was missing, and the magic that I so longed to see was always growing inside.